Eight years later, I'm still wondering what I could do for <user site="livejournal.com" user="nchant

[darxus]

The last, best advice I got, years ago, was to never speak to her again. So I continue to do that.


People who were close to us when we were together have said we were both abusive to each other. I expect I will always have difficulty wrapping my head around any part of that.

I wasn't a very compassionate person back then. I regret that I didn't treat her better. I've learned quite a lot since then.


Two years ago, I had four hours of BARCC training (active bystander, and first responder). In relation to that, I was one of the people who wore an advocate laminate the last two fireflies. I would say I was meaningfully involved in two men whose behavior was particularly problematic toward women (missing stairs) in the Boston burner community becoming far less involved in that community. I'm very happy to see people becoming more aware of these things, and trying to do something about it.


I'm interested in suggestions. You're welcome to speak freely.

Comments

[zzbottom.livejournal.com]

There are a couple of people I've dated in the past about whom I'm still rather fucked up. The reasons are irrelevant, but I am absolutely certain that them reaching out to me, no matter how altruistic their intentions, would still just fuck me up more. I suspect that nchanter feels much the same way about you. If you want for her to be better, distance is the kindest thing you can offer.